I often hear from people who are struggling to restore their confidence or self esteem after their spouse has cheated or had an affair. Often, they will tell me that they are a completely different person after the affair. And many intuitively know that in order for their marriage to survive, they are going to need to effectively deal with these insecurities.

I heard from a wife who said: “my husband cheated on me with a much younger, much prettier woman. When I found out, he said he would break things off and it appears that he did. We have been working on our marriage and I feel like we’re making a little bit of progress. But I do have problems with being very insecure. This wasn’t an issue for me before he cheated. Yes, I’m older, but so is he. I take relatively good care of myself and I feel like I’m relatively decent looking. But I can’t compare with someone who is much younger, prettier and skinnier than me. My husband says the affair wasn’t about her looks. He says it was about his own desire to be young and desirable again. But what does that mean for me? I can’t change my age. So I can’t make him feel young around me. And now every time we’re out and there’s a young, pretty girl, I feel insecure. I worry that my husband is staring at younger women and I find this a little disturbing and pathetic. And then and I look in the mirror and I see an aging, miserable woman. The sad thing is that before he cheated, I actually liked what I saw in the mirror. I would never want to be young again because I am so much wiser than I used to be. At the same time though, my husband has proven to me that he likes eye candy and he will pursue a younger woman. He tells me that he loves and is still attracted to me, but how am I supposed to believe this when he’s proven otherwise?” I will try to address these concerns in the following article.

His Infidelity Doesn’t Change Anything About You Or Your Physical Appearance: I know that you might think that this is easy for me to say, but it really isn’t. I was in the same situation that you are. And I too looked in the mirror and worried if I was pretty and sexy enough. But here’s something that I didn’t realize at the time and you may not either. Your attractiveness and sex appeal before and after the affair have not changed at all. Your looks aren’t going to change in a few months time. But your perception of those looks can change. Because your confidence has taken a hit. It’s so important to understand that nothing about you has changed except for your circumstances and your perceptions. And, the good news is that you have control of both.

Ways To Erase Or Deal With Your Insecurities After Your Spouse Cheated Or Had An Affair: I’m not silly enough to think that this is a “mind over matter” issue or that if you just give yourself a big enough pep talk, this issue will be over for you. I know from experience that just relying on positive thinking doesn’t work. I also know from my own life that in order to believe that your husband loves and finds you attractive, then you yourself must absolutely believe this yourself. Because if you believe that you aren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or alluring enough, then it truly doesn’t matter what your husband says or how sincerely he says it. You are not going to believe him anyway.

That’s why whatever you try must include self work. If you had confidence before the affair and only find your confidence shaken because of the infidelity, your job will be a little more easy. As your marriage heals and time shows you that your husband is sticking around because he wants to, then you will begin to get a little of you swagger back. Because in truth, very few people are going to stay with someone to whom they are not attracted, especially for the long term. So time has a way of restoring your confidence because you know that he won’t and can’t fake it forever.

In the meantime, you can help this process by being very kind to yourself. If there are issues about your appearance that bother you, there is nothing wrong with addressing them. However, never use this as an excuse to beat yourself up. Surround yourself with kind, loving, and supportive people, including yourself.

And, if some of your insecurities existed long before your husband acted inappropriately, you will usually have a little more work to do. A very wise counselor once told me that an affair doesn’t have to do with a person’s love for their spouse. It usually is at least partly due to a lack of self esteem on the part of one or both of the spouses. When I first heard this, it confused me and made me a little angry. However, after I thought about it for a while, I realized that my own insecurities had always plagued my marriage. I had long acted out of fear and lack because I didn’t believe that I was a good enough mother, daughter, or wife. And this gravely affected me in many areas of my life.

I would never claim to be grateful or even OK with my husband’s affair, but I am able to look back and admit that some good came out of it. One example is that I was forced to look at my insecurity issues and then not only acknowledge them, but to fix them. It was to my benefit to form my own career and to address things about myself that I didn’t particularly like. Doing this helped with my healing but it also improved my marriage.

And once I made progress, when my husband told me I was lovable, or beautiful, or sexy, I believed him. Because it was the first time that I believed it about myself.

I know that feeling insecure after the infidelity is very painful, but vow to move through it. Because if you use the insecurities as a catalyst to change what isn’t working, then you’ve flipped this and used to your advantage and your marriage, your happiness level, and your peace of mind will be much higher as the result. If you’d like to read about how this worked in real life, you’re welcome to check out my blog http://surviving-the-affair.com

I sometimes hear from wives who are dealing with husbands who are repeat cheaters. These wives are often so tired of the lies. In the beginning, these wives may have actually believed their husband when he promised he would never cheat again. But, over time and as he cheats again, she is less likely to believe anything that he says.

Believe it or not, many wives in this situation still wish they could do something to make their husband faithful because they are still invested in him. Some of these wives wonder if having their own affair or cheating themselves might give the husband a taste of his own medicine and make him stop.

I heard from a wife who said: “I just found out that my husband is having yet another affair. The last time I caught him, he swore he’d never look at another woman, and, like a fool, I believed him. And yet, here we are not even a year later and we’re going through this nonsense again. Clearly, he was lying all along. And clearly, those words he said and promises he made didn’t mean a thing. I want him to know how it feels to be in love with a liar and a cheat. I’m considering having my own affair and admitting it right to his face. If I did, would he stop his cheating? Would making him see how much this hurts scare him straight?”

It’s impossible for me to predict the future and guess as to how the husband might react to his wife’s revenge affair. But I can tell you that, in my opinion and experience, this is almost never a good idea. I will tell you why below.

Your Cheating Isn’t Addressing The Problems That Caused Your Husband To Cheat In The First Place: There’s no question that having your own affair might get your husband’s attention. It might even hurt him. But there are no guarantee that it’s going to make him stop cheating. Why? Because your own affair is an external event that hasn’t done one thing to modify your husband’s behavior for the long term. Not only have you not identified the issues that might be contributing to his cheating, but you haven’t solved them. Instead, you’d added another problem and obstacle to the mix.

You Having Your Own Affair Might Actually Make Your Husband Cheat More Since He Can Now Justify His Behavior: I’ve actually seen this plan backfire more than once. Sometimes, the husband will actually have his own revenge affair as payback. Or, although he might be hurt by his wife’s affair, eventually he keeps right on cheating because her affair has made it easier for him to justify his behavior. Is this fair? Absolutely not. But I am bringing it your attention because I want you to know that here’s every possibility that this plan will bring about the opposite result than what you were hoping for.

What You Might Want To Try (Instead Of Being Unfaithful) To Get Your Husband To Stop Cheating: Let’s think about this for a second. The real goal here is to make the husband stop cheating so that the couple could save their marriage. In my opinion, there are better ways to do that than to add more cheating to the mix. Here is what I see that typically doesn’t work. Trying to make your husband feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about his cheating isn’t usually effective in the long term. Because eventually, he will associate his negative feelings toward you and this resentment will also allow him to justify his behavior – which will in turn make his continuing to cheat even more likely.

What has a much better chance of working is identifying why he might be cheating. And the reasons might actually surprise you. Men don’t always cheat because they don’t love or aren’t attracted to their wives. They don’t necessarily cheat because they are in bad marriages. Sometimes, the reasons they cheat don’t even have anything to do with their wife or with their marriage.

Some men have poor impulse control, have self sabotaging behavior, are attracted to risky or forbidden behavior, or cheat as a way to boost their self esteem or quiet their self doubt. And if these things are present, having your own affair isn’t doing anything to help your husband address these issues. In fact, often you can talk and plead and manipulate until you are bone tired but nothing changes because nothing within your husband has changed. It’s usually not until he learns new coping mechanisms, thought processes, and behaviors that the cheating or the risky behavior stops. And your cheating or not cheating doesn’t have anything to do with these things.

While I do understand to temptation to force him to feel how you feel, most of the time, adding a new affair to the mix only brings more pain, problems and turmoil. It’s almost always a bad idea.

Instead of thinking about revenge, consider thinking about healing. Because if you can heal your husband, yourself, and your marriage, this is almost always better than reacting with your own negative behavior. If it helps, you can read about my own healing process on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com

The recent downside in the economy has affected people in so many ways aside from the obvious impact it made on their sources of livelihood or employment.

There is a growing trend among spouses needing to work in another state or even abroad to make ends meet and the same holds true for other people living together or involved in relationships. Such situations would more often than not – lead to tension, stress, and cracks in their relationships.

But one of the most pressing concerns in long distance relationships looming over the heads of the partner who gets left behind is the specter of infidelity.

Long distance relationships and infidelity are not necessarily synonymous entities, but the possibility of cheating appears to be higher in long distance relationships than any other for the obvious reason of physical separation between partners for longer periods of time.

Suspicions of infidelity arising in a long distance relationship can leave a partner feeling confused, and oftentimes utterly helpless about the situation.

Is she cheating on me…. is he sleeping with someone else right now… such questions that plague the minds of spouses who gets left behind.

They don’t need to be in this desperate situation much longer as there are ways to identify the signs of cheating in long distance relationships and confirm or refute their suspicions of their partner’s infidelity – and finally have peace of mind. 

Types of Infidelity in Long Distance Relationships

Before delving on how to detect the signs of cheating in long distance relationships, you need to first understand the types of infidelity in such situations.

Knowing so would help you identify the problem and probably pinpoint the real root cause and the reason behind why your lover is cheating in the first place – so you can take action accordingly.

* Physical Infidelity

It’s a basic fact that many men and women like some variety in their sex life. Some harbor sexual fantasies that they are afraid to open up to their lovers or cannot do so because of their current physical separation.

Giving in to these sexual cravings, these men or women would seek other means to satiate this need while away from their partners. This can be likened to food where cravings and hunger pangs would never go away unless sated.

In such cases, you will need to understand that physical infidelity is usually limited to simple satisfaction of carnal desires and would not take precedence over their love for family and their life partners.

The problem however is that physical infidelity can eventually lead to a different level beyond the physical that can be irreparable if left unchecked – which will often lead to permanent separation or divorce.

* Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity is physical infidelity in reverse – it starts with satisfying the emotional needs before it evolves into the physical. Being in a close and intimate emotional relationship with another while away from their partners technically does not break any vows or commitment they may have as it usually lacks any physical relationships at first.

However, such relationships would lead a person to share more personal aspects of their lives with the other person and this will eventually lead to physical infidelity and destruction of the relationship.

Signs of Cheating Your should be Watching Out For

There are several potential signs of cheating and infidelity in a long distance relationship but it would depend on the nature of the people involved.

Communicating with your long distance partner would be your primary tool for detecting and identifying these signs – in their manner of speech, their lack or changes in how they communicate, what they talk about when they’re with their partners and their overall attitude towards them.

* How Your Partner Speaks to You

Speech experts can detect dishonesty in how a person would emphasize certain sentences or particular words.

Honest persons would usually argue in their defense if you accuse them of infidelity but a liar on the other hand would usually disregard this or downplay them with submissive words.

Another sign would be changes in the frequency or how often they would talk with you on the phone and how changes in how long these talks would last.

They would often resort to conflicting reasons such as being busy or they really don’t like talking on the phone at all and other things they can think of.

* How Your Partner Seems to Have Disappearing Acts

There may be instances where your long distance partner seems to disappear or be unaccounted for several hours or even days, and then usually coming up with strange alibis that would later become even stranger or more unbelievable as these “lapses” in time become more often.

* How Your Partner’s Attitude towards You Seems to Change

During the first periods of long distance relationship, people are often eager to talk or communicate with their partners through any means available.

Lovers at this stage would often talk to each other whenever it is possible and would take as much time as possible. Changes in this initial attitude can be a sign that something is amiss.

His or her interest in knowing about your activities, particularly the small and trivial ones, would slowly decline.

It would take them a longer time to respond to emails or replying to text messages.

When they’re back at home they would often appear distant or preoccupied and would rather go out with friends that stay home with you.

* How Your Partner Talks about Other Men or Women

A cheating partner would still seek and try very hard to maintain your trust in them.

One way they will do this is to talk about their exes and their past problems with them, people of the opposite sex they meet while away, and new friends they gain – in an attempt to gain your trust with this sudden “openness”.       

How to Confirm that Your Long Distance Partner is Cheating on You

Short of hiring a private detective to confirm your suspicions, there are other ways to confirm and know if your long distance partner is cheating on you or not.

Communication is again the best tool next to body language in knowing whether they are hiding something from you.

Rather than bombarding or asking them a series of questions that seems interrogative or accusatory, you can simply ask them what they did while they were away – and observe and listen carefully as to how they will carry the conversation.

Liars would often fluctuate in their speech, speaking either slowly or too fast and would often take time to respond to seemingly basic questions. Don’t make it too obvious that you are trying to catch them with trick questions.

You could also talk about or make up a story about a certain friend who caught his or her lover cheating and observe how they will react – and be uncomfortable – with the story.

Just pay attention to every detail in their speech, their mood, and the words they use and he or she will expose themselves in due time.   

What’s Next?

If you are separated from your partner in a long distance relationship for whatever reason, you have a greater chance that he or she is cheating on you.

Many so-called experts would advice that such relationships would not work out or survive.

True, having a long distance relationship can be very difficult and would put your relationship or union at risk, but the final outcome will always depend on you.

What you do after detecting the signs of cheating, and confirming that it is so, would depend on whether you want to end your relationship – or make the necessary steps to prevent such end from happening.

Loving two men at once inevitably means having to make an agonizing decision. Who do you choose – or should you walk away from both?

Who should Bella choose? This is the question the Twilight saga revolves around – and it’s difficult not to get swept away by this fanciful romance. You are either for Team Jacob or Team Edward.

But as much as love triangles make riveting film fodder, they are usually a great deal less romantic and more painful in reality. There’s no denying that you are betraying both loves – and possibly yourself. How do you decide who is the right man for you – or whether you are better on your own for now?

It’s certainly not uncommon for a woman to find herself loving two men. The reason she is drawn to two men is often that she has grown apart from her long-term partner; now she can’t decide between them because each satisfies desires the other doesn’t. Conversely, in both relationships certain needs go unfulfilled. She wants both men for what they bring to her life.

Stereotypically, women seek emotional comfort and men seek physical comfort when they experience an unmet need or a void. These roles are changing, however, and some women have a need for the thrill of passion and sex outside their partnership. While revenge can occasionally be the stimulus, many women turn to another man because they feel lonely and neglected at home. They seek affirmation that they’re still desirable and attractive.

Whatever the motivating factor, it is unlikely that both men are loved with equal intensity. You may feel more for your new partner because it’s a newer relationship that’s still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, and while you may be cognizant of why you chose to be in the older relationship, you may not feel it on the emotional level any longer. But the original relationship is usually based on reality, whereas your crush on the new man could be due to idealism and enchantment.

An emotional or physical affair is thrilling thanks to its illicit nature but once the instant gratification wears off and you reflect on your actions, you’re faced with remorse, guilt and self-loathing. You could be in total conflict with your beliefs and value system. Of course your primary defense would be to blame your partner for the situation.

This roller coaster of emotions can cause psychosomatic symptoms such as insomnia, headaches and even ulcers. You could also experience wild mood swings ranging from despair to manic excitement.

You may have tried to sever ties with the ‘other man’ only to find that, despite your best intentions, you are hooked on the attention and excitement he brings to your life. You may not have resolved the issues in your primary relationship, so the reasons you sought solace outside your relationship are still present. Then, each time you attempt to cut ties with the other man but allow him back into your life, you perceive yourself as weak and the self-loathing begins again, perpetuating the vicious cycle.

Until you understand the real reasons why you were open to an illicit relationship, you will continue to be drawn to a dual love life. This will invariably have a negative impact on your original relationship – it may turn into something that you are both just existing in, while your new partner may want more over time if he is unattached. You may then be forced to choose. But how do you choose? The most effective way is to put your true thoughts and feelings on paper.

But don’t make it a list of pros and cons – create a journal focusing on your original relationship. Include how you met, the qualities you fell in love with, how you saw your future together. Then evaluate how either of you diverged from this path. Also reflect on the real reasons you chose to be with him. For example, perhaps it’s his character and warmth, or the emotional or financial security he provides. Look at whether this fits in with who you are right now and how you see your life going forward. Then create a journal about your new relationship. Your decision should find you.

If you decide to rebuild your primary relationship, it’s going to take honesty. Both of you are responsible for making your relationship space sacred again. Understand what your personal voids and values are and learn how to stretch to meet the other’s needs. Bring back the romance and fun, and use this opportunity to rediscover your partner.

If you choose your new love, know that you will have to face any unresolved inner conflict, and that the same dynamics you faced in your previous relationship will probably present themselves again. Often suspicion sets in when needs are not being met in the new relationship – one of you may worry that the other is cheating again. Your infatuation may crumble and you will be faced with the inevitable reality and challenges of a new relationship.

If, when evaluating the qualities you love in each person, you find that the fulfillment of your needs is split between them, it could be that neither is right for you. There’s nothing stopping you from walking away from both people.

It may be important to be on your own and work on yourself. Once you’re happier within, the person who’ll complement you should be drawn into your life.

Everybody has received gifts in the past. Whether it small or big, personal or impersonal, lavish or simple, gifts are just a part of life. The act of giving is something special and in many cases requires a lot of attention to detail.

Everybody has received gifts in the past. Whether it small or big, personal or impersonal, lavish or simple, gifts are just a part of life. The act of giving is something special and in many cases requires a lot of attention to detail.

Everybody has received gifts in the past. Whether it small or big, personal or impersonal, lavish or simple, gifts are just a part of life. The act of giving is something special and in many cases requires a lot of attention to detail.

I often hear from people who are getting very tired of their spouse constantly questioning them and not trusting them after their infidelity. Although many understand that they gave their spouses a reason to doubt them, no one has endless levels of patience. And having your spouse constantly question you or act like you are a child who must constantly check in can get very old.

I heard from a husband who said: “I admit that I abused my wife’s trust when I cheated on her and I regret that more than I can express. I deserve her anger. I deserve her losing faith in me. But I have done everything that she has asked, including going to counseling. I come home right after work. I spend all my spare waking hours with her. I don’t object when she goes though my phone or my emails because I honestly don’t have anything to hide from her. I’m not cheating on her anymore and I don’t intend to ever do it again. But no matter how many times I say this or hold myself accountable, she doesn’t believe me. And she will tell me without blinking an eye that she no longer trusts me and doesn’t know if she ever will again. My question is what do I need to do to make her trust me again after my infidelity? At this point, I am completely trustworthy, but she just will not believe me, no matter what I do or say. And this frustrates me beyond belief.”

Although I see this situation from the other side of it (since I was the spouse who was cheated on, ) I do understand the frustration of wondering if your spouse will ever trust you again. I get a lot of emails dealing with this topic from spouses who regret cheating and I see that many (but not all) are sincere when they say that they are doing everything in their power to restore the trust. In the following article, I will offer some tips on what you might do to encourage your spouse to trust you again after infidelity.

Have Patience. The More Anxious And Impatience You Are, The More You Look Like You Have Something To Hide: I know that your life probably isn’t a lot of fun right now. And I understand why you want your spouse to trust you again. But you must understand and accept that they are justified in the way that they feel. They have a right to these feelings. Imagine how you might feel if you were in their shoes. Blindly believing anything that you say after you have betrayed their trust would be silly and ill advised. Give your spouse a little credit. They aren’t unintelligent and you shouldn’t try to force them to pretend to feel or believe something that they don’t. You both need to be honest about and free to express your true feelings.

And if it appears that you are trying to guilt, force, or pressure your spouse into trusting you before they are ready, it not only makes you look like the bad guy, it makes it look like you want them to back off because perhaps you have something to hide.

Even when you feel frustrated, put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and then have patience. When you are the faithful spouse, it truly does mean a lot when you know that your spouse takes responsibility for their actions and, because of this, is going to allow for you to set the pace.

Don’t Give Your Spouse Any Reason Whatsoever To Believe That You Not Are 100% Transparent Or Trustworthy: Many people don’t understand that from the day that you admit the cheating, you have to commit yourself to being one hundred percent truthful about everything, even the little things. Sometimes, people who cheat have gotten into the habit of lying. And when their spouse catches them in little white lies, they truly don’t understand what a big deal this can be.

I often hear comments like “I forgot to tell my wife that I went to have a sandwich after work and then saw one of her friends. Of course, her friend reported seeing me right back to my wife and now my wife suddenly doesn’t trust me once again. But I was doing nothing wrong. I guess I’m always going to be the bad guy now no matter what.”

This husband doesn’t understand that although he didn’t do anything wrong, he can’t afford to do anything that might give that appearance, especially right now. The truth is, your spouse is watching you very closely. And because they have their doubts about how trustworthy you may or may not be, they are almost waiting for you to slip up.

That’s why it’s vital that you tell the truth about everything – even the little things. And don’t omit things either. You want to show your spouse that everything out of your mouth is completely accurate. Don’t leave things out. Don’t embellish. And don’t give your spouse any reason to doubt you.

Have Faith That In Time, You Will Earn Back Your Spouse’s Trust: The key word in that phrase is earned. Your actions have caused the end of the your spouse’s trust. Now, you must earn it back. This takes time. No one pays you your wages before you completely your work or you do your job. You must earn that money by putting in the work and the time.

The same can be said of trust. You can’t collect today on the work you should be doing tomorrow and in the future. I know that it is frustrating, but have faith that if you put in the time, do the work, and are one hundred percent sincere, your spouse will eventually see that you are sincere and they will respond accordingly. But this process takes time and shouldn’t be rushed if you want a genuine result.

I admit that my husband probably thought it took a very long time for me to trust him again after his affair. But I was more inclined to believe him when he was patient with me rather than pushy. I need to see that he was willing to wait it out because he thought I was worth it. If it helps, you can read the story of how we got back together after his affair on my surviving the affair blog.

I sometimes hear from panicked spouses who are being completely ignored after their cheating or their affair has been discovered. Often, they know that they deserve their spouse’s anger, but they are frightened that their spouse is going to continue ignoring them and that this might mean that their cheating will contribute to their marriage being over for good.

I heard from a wife on my surviving the affair blog who said: “I admitted to cheating on my husband because I just could not stand the guilt any more. And, at the end of the day, I wanted to come clean so that I could save my marriage. I knew my husband would be furious and he was. But I wasn’t expecting for him to kick me out, which is exactly what he did. He pretty much didn’t say a word and showed me the door. I left because I figured that he needed some time to think. However, it’s been over a week and he won’t take my phone calls or return my text. I showed up at the house the other day and he came to the door and just shook his head as if to show that no, he wouldn’t let me in or even acknowledge my presence. Through the door, I asked him if was going to ignore me forever and he just shrugged his shoulders and turned and walked away. I understand his anger, but I absolutely hate being ignored. What does his ignoring me mean? What should I do?” I will try to answer these questions in the following article.

As Hard As It May Be, It’s Often In Your Best Interest To Give Your Spouse Some Space: I know that this is a difficult situation. Many people tell me that they would actually prefer that their spouse scream and yell all sort of insults than to simply ignore them. I understand this because, even if your spouse is angry at you, at least they are experiencing enough emotion to have a reaction, even if it is a negative one.

But if they don’t seem to be experiencing much emotion and are ignoring you as the result, you start to wonder if this is going to go on forever or if they have checked out entirely. I understand feeling this way, but understand that your spouse is likely reeling and may well be unsure as to how they really feel. As someone who has been cheated on, I can tell you that often you feel very differently from hour to hour. Sometimes, you are furious. Other times you are hurt. And there are plenty of times when you are confused. And, when your spouse keeps showing up demanding that you speak to them, this can actually make things worse for you, which leads me to my next point.

How To React When Your Spouse Won’t Stop Ignoring You After You’ve Been Caught Cheating Or Having An Affair: I know that it might be tempting to try to engage your spouse or become angry at them just to give them a taste of how this feels. But try to avoid negative emotions directed at them. None of this is their fault. In fact, it was your actions that put this into motion. If you want to save your marriage with your spouse, it truly is in your best interest to have some patience and to concentrate on their well being rather than your own.

They probably won’t ignore you forever, but let them end this stale mate on their own terms. They deserve to be able to set the pace at their own comfort level. Many spouses in this situation tell me that they aren’t sure how to proceed. They want to understand and respect their spouse’s need for space. But, at the same time, they don’t want to drop out of their spouse’s life so quickly that it appears that they don’t care.

There truly is a fine line. My advice would be to avoid the face to face confrontations until you are invited. It’s probably painful and confusing for your spouse to see you show up at their house unannounced trying to gauge your reaction. Instead, you may want to reach out through text, email, or sending flowers or cards. But don’t be pushy about it. Instead of sending messages that say “how long do you plan to ignore me,” or “you can’t dodge me forever,” you want to keep the message to one that is supportive rather than pressured. You may want to say something like “I respect that you don’t want to see or talk to me right now. But I just want you to know that I do love you and only care about your best interest. Whenever you are ready to talk or have questions, I’m available to you whenever that might be. If there is anything that I can do to help you heal or to offer you any relief, all you have to do is say the word.”

Do you see the difference? You are checking in to show you care and you are offering support and reassurance. But you aren’t pressuring them or trying to make them feel guilty or selfish for their isolation.

I admit that I did ignore my husband for a while after his cheating. He was pushy at first, but eventually he got the hint that it was better for him when he had patience with me. As he showed me patience and support, my attitude toward him changed and this was a huge factor in us saving our marriage. If it helps, you can read the whole story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com

Hold on ladies, and put down your guns. The reality is that infidelity ruins thousands of relationships every year, and statistics tell us that approximately one out of every three men will cheat on his significant other. So, do men cheat simply because we can’t keep our manhood in our pants, or is the infidelity a symptom of deeper problems that exist in the relationship? The answers to both questions are yes and yes, but let’s dig a little deeper shall we? Article Source: http://EzineArticles